The Explosive Child PDF AZW3 EPUB MOBI TXT Download

Now in a revised and updated 6th edition, the groundbreaking, research-based approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other challenging behaviors, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the field.What’s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration—crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication—but to no avail. They can’t figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don’t work for theirs; and they don’t know what to do instead.Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren’t attention-seeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren’t passive, permissive pushovers. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach to parenting. Throughout this compassionate, insightful, and practical book, Dr. Greene provides a new conceptual framework for understanding their difficulties, based on research in the neurosciences. He explains why traditional parenting and treatment often don’t work with these children, and he describes what to do instead. Instead of relying on rewarding and punishing, Dr. Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model promotes working with explosive children to solve the problems that precipitate explosive episodes, and teaching these kids the skills they lack.

Deliver to China

July 21, 2021
272 pages

File Size: 68 MB
Available File Formats: PDF AZW3 DOCX EPUB MOBI TXT or Kindle audiobook Audio CD(Several files can be converted to each other)
Language: English, Francais, Italiano, Espanol, Deutsch, chinese

“The Explosive Child is a must for the many parents, teachers, and professionals who attempt to guide, teach, and work with difficult, hard-to-manage, and easily frustrated children. . . . A must-read for our children’s sake and ours.” — Thomas H. Ollendick“A truly remarkable book. . . . Dr. Greene skillfully provides us with both a framework and practical interventions for minimizing struggles with these children and enhancing their development. . . . What comes across on every page of this wonderful book is a genuine caring and compassion for these youngsters and their a families.” — Robert Brooks, Ph.D. , author of The Self-Esteem Teacher“An insightful, sensitive portrayal of children who need help—and how to help them.” — Myrna B. Shure“A user-friendly, practical guide for parents trying to help difficult, explosive children. This book will be of enormous benefit to such children and their families.” — Michael Jellinek“All parents should read this book, especially those with children who are out of control. Ross Greene presents a loving, rational, and research-based approach to dealing with problems that most parents have either felt were their own fault or were unsolvable. I could not recommend this book more highly.” — Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction About the Author Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model described in this book, an approach he has researched extensively, along with colleagues throughout the world. Dr. Greene served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is currently Founding Director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance and adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech. He consults extensively to families, schools, and therapeutic facilities and lectures widely internationally. Vast free resources on the CPS approach can be found on the Lives in the Balance website ( <div id="

  • I found out what worked for my child was to stop all videos on electronic devices (ipad, iphone, laptop). Obviously all children are different and the reasons for each child’s behavior are so varied.But for my daughter, after 24-48 hours of stopping the devices, her brain was rewired and she could handle her emotions normally. She can now watch some TV only, but no videos on devices. My daughter is a pretty intense, high energy kid to begin with. I think the devices pushed her stimulation level over the edge. (even though she only watched mild kid programs, and for short periods of time). I think it may have something to do with the way the videos are structured (like on youtube kids)- quick bursts of clips, always changing, fast-moving, not a slower paced regular storyline like a tv show or movie. Also close proximity to eyes. Honestly, she is a changed child. Before, I actually was thinking she might have ODD. She is now “normal”. (I found a good tactic to initially stop devices is to just say they are broken or the internet is temporarily down etc.. instead of saying ‘you cant watch this’…you could at least try that for a day or two and assess).
  • Lots of insightful advice, but my kid got REALLY MAD when she found it on my nightstand.
  • This book is a lifesaver! Before reading and applying the things I learned in this book a simple thing would turn into a 3 hour battle of screaming and throwing things, and hitting walls with my 5 year old. I was completely lost before reading it. My 5 year old reacts completely different that my old child so I had never dealt with this type of behavior. My 5 year old is adopted and was neglected by his biological mother when he was younger so it’s a learning process for us both. This book helped me understand that he does want to be good he just doesn’t know how to react in situations and has to learn. We are all happier now that we read it!
  • I knew by the 24th page this book would be a game changer. A must read for any human being (parent, teacher, coach, therapist, etc) That has dealt or is dealing w a child who just seems more intense, stubborn, grumpy, strong willed than most. It’s not just for explosive off the charts behavior. Highly recommend this book.
  • At first the premise of this book is a little hard to take in, but once you do, it is a god send. It took me 2 readings to finally understand, believe, and then commit to the idea. Once I started using “Plan B” with my teen age daughter everything began to change, for the better.
  • Our child isn’t “explosive” but just way harder to get to do stuff than some – i.e. transition from bed to up, from TV to homework, from friend’s house to car, etc. This book really helps in explaining those behaviors so they make sense and giving techniques to avoid the threats and yelling that I hate to say was getting pretty common in our house. Maybe better title: “The Explosive Parent; A New Approach for Understanding and Dealing With the Strange Person You Become sometimes when Dealing With Your Child.”
  • While I do agree with some of the negative reviewers points, that you can get the gist in the first two chapters, sure. However, you can say the same thing of some physics books that I have read. Look, this book breaks down what cannot be explained and how to address some of the unknown, those kiddos that do not fit into the “ Phych box.” This book unlike the other best seller on ODD (The Defiant Child), this encourages the parent and doesn’t tell them to act foolishly using physical force on children up to preteens. Let’s face it, not all kids are the same and physical force during a meltdown on my ODD, autistic, ADHD, Sensory kiddo won’t cut it. This book gave us hope and did the trick explaining different scenarios with different kinds of kiddos. Thank you.
  • The premise of this book is that if your kid is explosive, then you identify what makes them explode and have a discussion before they get upset so they already have some problem solving solutions. This is not bad advice by itself, and we do some of this at home. However, honestly, my kid constantly generates reasons to be angry. It is actually rather impressive. It is not possible for me to anticipate every problem she has. This is not going to be the life saver solution for us, we need something else. The other problem is that I could not convince my husband to go along with this plan. I was disappointed, but to some extent, he is correct – our six year old needs to learn coping skills and respect for adults. I can’t follow her around all the time, cataloging all the problems and prepare a calm talk later and the expect her, a 6 year old to remember a solution for each individual problem.
  • Caveat: I haven’t implemented the strategies in the book yet. When I first started reading it, my plan was to do it as I went along, and I did do the first step (identifying lagging skills). However, as I was reading sections out to my partner – without the context they came in – I found I was spending a lot of time getting frustrated and defending the book as he struggled to understand the concepts without the background reading. As we need to have a whole family approach to this method, we agreed that implementation would go on hold until he has a chance to read it. I will update my review once we’ve started, and let you know if my rating has changed.The book was recommended to me by a number of people, but I must say the title put me off a little. I advocate for neurodiversity, I’m autistic and ADHD myself and have been subjected to people calling me “dramatic” or “over-reactive” in the past, so a book called “The Explosive Child” made me feel like a child was being blamed for their responses to things. However, I trust the people who recommended it to me, and over a year after buying it I started to read. I now know why you should never judge a book by its cover (or its title).Dr Greene makes it abundantly clear throughout the book that “kids do well if they can,” that they are not deliberately “explosive” and that preconceived notions of children behaving in certain ways to being manipulative, attention-seeking, lazy, unmotivated, etc need to be left behind. He’s also quick to clarify that parents aren’t to blame either, and that most have tried incredibly hard to help their children and only want what’s best for them, they just have been on a misguided path, or haven’t had the tools to help.So, if it’s not wilful bad behaviour, and kids will “do well if they can,” what’s the problem?Lagging skills, and unsolved problems.These were a complete eye opener for me. Not only do my children score incredibly highly on the lagging skills list, I do too! We are all “explosive,” we all could be termed “behaviourally challenging” (a term that Dr Greene does admit isn’t perfect, but it’s better than most of the other available ‘labels’) and I now know why. We simply (though it’s not simple to change) don’t have the skills a lot of other people have to cope with demands, problem solving, maintaining focus, handling transitions and change etc. I’m not going to list them all – you’ll have to read the book for that – I will say that out of twenty-four lagging skills listed on pages 34 & 35, I have fifteen. I’m not sharing my children’s scores as it’s not my data to share, but I was shocked that I scored so highly. The good news is that by following the suggestions in the book, my lagging skills will be improved over time in conjunction with my children’s. How cool is that?Greene goes on to talk about the “truth about consequences,” which tend to be the go-to parenting strategies (and the cornerstone of unsolicited advice, usually given alongside lines such as “making a rod for your own back,” and “in my day, children got a good slap.”) Needless to say, Greene asserts that traditional parenting methods using consequences and a “do as I say” attitude doesn’t work. Let’s face it, if it did, you wouldn’t be reading the book. There’s a lot more to it than the example I’ve given but, again, you’ll need to read the book.Following these truths, Greene describes the three plans which parents can (though possibly shouldn’t in one case) use to address unsolved problems with their children:Plan A – “Solving a problem unilaterally through the imposition of adult will.” Spoiler alert: this is what you’re probably doing already, and it’s unlikely to work with children (and adults) who have a number of “lagging skills” – if it did, you wouldn’t have any unsolved problems.Plan B – “Solving a problem collaboratively.” Sorry, another spoiler: this is the whole point of the book, and the plan that you’re encouraged to follow. The rest of the book talks you though how to do this with your child – including a section on how to collaboratively problem solve with children who have little or no spoken communication.Plan C – “Setting aside an unsolved problem, at least for now.” This isn’t “giving up.” It’s not “letting the child ‘win.'” It’s deciding that some unsolved problems are not high priorities, and they are ones you’ll come back to later. This doesn’t mean that you use Plan A for them in the interim – you literally set them aside. I know I’m going to struggle with this part, but reading the rationale behind it, I know it’s important I do.The rest of the book talks you through Plan B: the hows, whens, whats, and whos. There’s a chapter dedicated to talking you though how Plan B would work in a school setting, and I think it’s an important book for educators to read.The main points I’ve taken away are:- That quote I’ve already used: “Kids do well if they can.”- Behaviours which challenge aren’t designed to manipulate, and they’re not because a child ‘can’t be bothered’ to do what’s being asked of them.- Plan A – the style that’s adopted by the majority of adults – doesn’t help a child solve problems more effectively.- Plan A teaches a child that they must submit and do what they’re told at all cost.- Plan B ensures that everyone’s needs are met.- Unsolved problems and lagging skills are the issue, not the child or their behaviours.- Adults need to learn how to actively listen to children.- That just because we’ve struggled with all of this, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad parent, or that they’re bad kids.I highly recommend this book to all parents, and those who work with children. Particularly if your child has episodes of behaviours which challenge, but actually this approach will (I think) be good for all children.One thing (from an autistic perspective) that struck me was how opposite to ABA it is, but how it will address the same ‘issues’ (for want of a better word). Therefore, I’m going to add the book to my list of “things which are better than ABA” when I’m asked for alternatives, both from desperate parents and from argumentative people on the internet.For ND readers: I didn’t like the phrase “behaviourally challenged” – Dr Greene doesn’t really either. However, it doesn’t affect what’s being said, and the message clearly tells me that the skills and methods presented in the book align with our philosophies. It’s not about changing a child, making them fit in, or blaming them for behaviours. It’s about collaborating so all parties have their needs met, therefore reducing the number of explosive episodes. It’s about wholeheartedly listening to the child (or adult if it’s two adults using the strategy) and being equally responsible for coming up with a solution, and nobody’s idea being considered more valuable than the other’s. If you can get past the label, and can excuse a couple of mentions of “with an Autism Spectrum Disorder,” then I think you will agree with the overarching principles, and find them a useful tool.
  • This is a great book for anyone who works with children but especially for parents, particularly those who have a child who does not meet the criteria for being ‘normal’ – whatever that is?I have three daughters, one of whom is dyslexic and was diagnoised with learning and cognitive difficulties when she was 7-years old, although now the professionals seem to think she is showing all the signs of a child with ADD. Either way, no great advice has ever come from the so called professionals on how to handle my daughters difficult and explosive behaviour. In some cases what advice has been given has more often than not exacerbated the problem for her and the whole family.This is the only piece of literature I have come across that has made any great sense to me both as a parent and as a human being. The writer has a great deal of compassion and respect for both children and parent by telling you there is no such thing as a difficult child or an attention seeking child. The techniques used within the book deals directly with the brain and its learning pathways and explains the scientific basis for the theories behind the methods. The solutions work on learning to understand the child and coaching them to grow the missing ‘cognitive’ pathways they lack rather than ‘managing’ the behaviour via reward or punishment – which never really works particularly on children like my daughter. It has helped us see that our expectations as parents are sometimes too high for her, and that re-focusing our priorities are helping her deal with life in a much healthier way. We think more in terms of compromise and understanding, exploring her decision making rather than sticking to a mind set of “it’s my way or the highway”. In return we are starting to see a reduction in her ‘difficult’ behaviour such as the stubbornness and the screaming tantrums and their duration. Our daughter feels she has more control over her decisions even though sometimes those decisions are not always the correct ones. It has helped us to see that she’s not a difficult child, nor are we failing as parents. She has a processing disorder, and instead of trying to bend her to our will and trying to get her to meet the expectations of others, we are teaching her the skills to reason through her frustrations and decision-making. It isn’t easy, and it’s very slow going and frustrating at times, but thanks to this book we no longer operate from a place of hopelessness. It is also helping us to better communicate with our teenage daughter who at times seems to have a bigger behavioural issue than my 10-year old!
  • It’s good, the format is fab. Probably better for children 7+ Who are capable of discussion have a reasonable understanding of their own emotions/needs.
  • I have finished reading the book but still don’t know how to deal with my stubborn, rude and explosive son. The only thing i learnt from it is to repeat his sentence and then provide a follow up question during discussions, eg son: “idon’t like the way you talk to me”, me “you dont like the way i talk to you… what exactly dont you like?” – something like this.i used discussion technique before this book as we often talk about his behaviour when he calms down and he does say that he regrets it but he cant help sometimes. so, i think for me the usual way (punishments: eg no ipad, no playdate, etc) would work better.I prefer the “supernanny” way of dealing which does help sometimes.i was hoping the book will give me some proper solutions but it didnt.
  • Very informative. Helped my hyperactive grandson tremendously. He was able to explain to me what was troubling him and suggested remedies. Worked well for me. My grandson is 7.
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