A revised and updated edition of Emily Nagoski’s game-changing New York Times bestseller Come As You Are, featuring new information and research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure that will radically transform your sex life.For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently—and far less seriously—than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. In the years since the book’s initial publication, countless women have learned through Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it—and that even if you don’t always feel like it, you are already sexually whole by just being yourself. This revised and updated edition continues that mission with new information and advanced research, demystifying and decoding the science of sex so that everyone can create a better sex life and discover more pleasure than you ever thought possible.
Deliver to China
March 2, 2021
File Size: 25 MB
Available File Formats: PDF AZW3 DOCX EPUB MOBI TXT or Kindle audiobook Audio CD(Several files can be converted to each other)
Language: English, Francais, Italiano, Espanol, Deutsch, chinese
“This is the best book I have ever read about sexual desire and why some couples just stop having sex, and what they can do about it. Come As You Are is an absolutely necessary guide for all couples who want to understand the ups and downs in their own sex life. It is a must read!” —John Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work“Emily Nagoski has written one of the most important books about sex any woman (or anybody else) could ever pick up, full of insights that are both fascinating and deeply useful. Synthesizing new research and theory about sexuality with old-school sex-positive information of the sort you didn’t learn in sex ed (unless, perhaps, you are a Unitarian, or Scandinavian, or lucky enough to be in Dr. Nagoski’s class), I guarantee Come As You Are will open minds and change lives.” — Carol Queen, Ph.D., Founding director, Center for Sex & Culture“Emily Nagoski is worth her weight in TED Talks, and Come as You Are is a master-class in the science of sex.” — Ian Kerner, sex therapist and bestselling author of She Comes First“It’s the science of sex, decoded and demystified. Want to be educated on the latest findings about female genitalia? Of course you do. Empowering and sex-positive at best, this informative read makes for an enticing bedfellow.” —Refinery29“Lots of books — and articles and experts — claim to have the keys to transform your sex life. This one actually has it. It isn’t as fast as taking a pill, but it will last a whole lot longer. You will find no hot new bedroom moves — it’s that deeper-level soul stuff. You know, the stuff that actually works.” —Salon.com“Wonderful new language to help us articulate to women (and their lovers) what is going on.” —Huffington Post“Like a punch to the gut. When I read the passage that made me realize—after all these years—that I was not actually broken, I began to cry. . . . I wished [Nagoski] was someone who was actively in my life, someone I could reach out to for grounding every time I momentarily forgot the lessons in her book.” —Book Riot“Nagoski’s book deserves plaudits for the rare achievement of merging pop science and the sexual self-help genre in prose that’s not insufferably twee. . . . [Come As You Are] offers up hard facts on the science of arousal and desire in a friendly and accessible way.” —The Guardian (UK) About the Author Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestseller Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, and the coauthor of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She has an MS in counseling and a PhD in health behavior, both from Indiana University. <div id="
I bought the Kindle version of this book, read it, loved it, and then bought the paperback to give to my husband, and to save for my daughter when she’s older. The key messages of this book should be required elements of sex education for anyone who has a vulva or wants a relationship with one.However – I am disappointed by the lack of details regarding how female sex hormones work. Maybe that’s too sciencey for this book or not in the author’s wheelhouse, or perhaps there is a lack of data on this? I’d like to know how sex hormones work in relation to the menstrual cycle (follicular, luteal phase and so on) and if there are any pearls of wisdom we can glean from this when it comes to our sex lives. Surely there is something to be learned from how we are wired to ovulate (and more likely to be up for sex at that time) and the various sequelae (how does PMS come into play, and what can we do about it, etc). The author seems somewhat dismissive of hormones and their impact on sexual desire, which may be true, but I feel like there is more to the story here…Also, and this is nitpicky, but there are SO MANY METAPHORS it is hard to keep track of, and recall them all. I get the utility of the metaphors/comparisons to help illustrate an idea, but I felt like I was doing a lot of mental gymnastics to remember things because of the astounding number of metaphors. (And when I asked husband how he like the book so far, this was also his first comment).
Spent hours reading this book with no help at the end.To sum up:Everyone has different bodies and that’s okay.Everyone has different rates of arousal. That’s okay too.Find something that turns you on and go for it.Change your mind and you change your sex life.That’s it.The author keeps promising brilliant solutions to one’s sexual problems in later chapters – so the reader keeps reading, hopeful for something solid to take away from all of the tedious information.Nope. Ya get nuthin’. Author says that it’s all in your head – fix your head and you’ll have a great sex life.So angry about all of the hours I spent reading this drivel!
This book was a great help to me. I’m in a mid-30s, 10+ year marriage, post-babies, pandemic weight gain, life stress, etc… slump that was causing serious marital strain. I’m still not “sex-positive”, but this book helped me and my husband accept that I’m not broken if I have a slower accelerator or more sensitive breaks, and responsive versus spontaneous desire.
I’m sure I’ll be in the minority here, but it might help someone.First, helpful on how to focus, relax, allow yourself just to experience pleasure; just be ok with how you’re made; not be so goal-focused as to miss the present experience.At the same time, along with most authors today, she blames a lot (most?) of female sexual dysfunction on “cultural brainwashing,” by which I think she means (in addition to admittedly destructive “rom-com” culture) “oppressive cis-gendered western” culture. But that Western culture has also allotted women far more value than many other historic, or geographic, cultures. Was I traded in marriage against my will for so many sheep? Was I forced to undergo painful mutilation of my body when I was a child? Do I have to bring my husband with me to go grocery shopping or to the DMV? No. That’s also because of the culture we are part of. It seems unhelpful, not to mention inaccurate, to blame so much of women’s sexual issues on that culture, at least with no mention at all of what is positive in it.This author is by no means alone today in her viewpoint, but since hers is the book I’ve just read, I thought it worth mentioning. Take the meat, spit out the bones.
I listened to this book through audio books while on a road trip recently to pass the time. It was recommended to my wife by her therapist and I thought that it might help me to better understand the female circumstances by absorbing the content of this book. I did find the book to be informative with regard to what a female experience is sexually. I was put off however by a number of concepts the author discusses.There are a few issues in here that I can’t agree with and they are almost enough enough in my view to discredit the author.It would seem that the author has a strong distaste for , in particular , the Christian belief structure.There seems to be a significant amount of anger or animosity toward what she calls the “Patriarchy”. It comes across as the typical angry feminist view. You know, men bad, women victims, thinking.Celbratory of the Lesbian life and the “courage” they display throughout.Most glaringly what I disagree with is her stated belief of the ills of drug use, alcohol abuse, and other such vices and their negative impact on the human body and psyches (as well as reltionships) while at the same time celebrating and encoraging women that their fatness (my word) as okay, even to be admired. NONE of the vices are ok. Gluttony is among these We seem to live in a world where drunkenness, drug addiction, gambling addiction, and any other vice is frowned upon. However, gluttony (defined by me as the ingestation of more food than the body requires), is completely acceptable, particularly to and for the female population.Obesity has the same components and addiction properties as the others (dopamine hits), yet, is okay and the women are even encouraged to embrace it if they are heavier than is healthy throughout the writing.This falls in line with her underlying animosity toward men it appears.This “love me for who I am ” mantra is a staple for heavy set women who don’t want to fix their problem. I would be willing to bet these same people would never accept “love me for who I am” from a drunk or a “porn addcict”.So it is throughout this writing. At least to me any way.And this becomes tiresome and boring later in the book.The hypocrisy and inconsistency discredits her to some degree in my opinion.
This book took me on quite a journey. I read it because I felt broken, I felt like what I was experiencing was my fault. That I should want sex more.By the end of the book I learned so much more than what I was expecting and decided to write a letter to my husband explaining the secret ingredient – me, knowing, understanding and respecting me. We then talked about our accelerators and brakes and responsive and spontaneous desire. I explained how the media, cultural and medical messages have trained my brain to respond in some very specific ways to things he has said.We discussed the things I had learned about myself and he simply said… Well that all makes sense and smiled. This book has given me the tools to communicate with my husband in a way I never thought I’d have the confidence to do.Thank you, whenever I hear someone talking about feeling broken or struggling with thier sexuality or relationships I will recommend this book.
Like many others I bought this off the back of the sex education reference by Maeve. I have to say it was boring, repetitive and overall disappointing.I wonder if the author paid for the reference or is in the know with the show writers?The fictional book by Dr Jean Milburn in sex education is a book I’d love to read!
A phenomenal book that is relevant to SO much more beyond only sex.Deserves to be in schools – for women AND men.
I have really enjoyed reading this book. It felt broader than sex advice. More like advice for life generally. Excellent!
Educational and enlightening! Do yourself a favor and read it and then recommend it to your sisters, mothers, and to your friends.
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